THE SAD TRUTH ABOUT MY WEIGHT LOSS :-( 

Hey guys! this post is going to be very hard for me to make, i had no plan on making this and no structure so this is all coming straight from my head but i felt like i needed to say this because of the fact that..well.. its nearly been a year for me blogging and i am so amazed by how many people read my blog, comment and also like it. i am so near to 1000 followers and now i am feeling as though i want to get more personal with my readers so you know exactly who i am as a person. DISCLAIMER: Sorry for the bad grammar i am literally writing this as it comes to mind.

As many of you already know my weight loss journey started a year ago from February 2015, and i have made a post about the tips i used to lose weight in which you can read here. I’ve always wanted to start a YouTube channel but felt embarrassed because i was not confident in myself at all. Weighing 225lb this time last year was the lowest point in my life. I used to avoid mirrors because i didn’t like who i’d become and what i was doing to myself. School was very hard for me, i wouldn’t say i got bullied but being one of the bigger kids in school made me feel very self conscious, i used to always be picked last for sport, and when i did i was always placed as a goal keeper because of the fact that in quote ‘you’re fat, you can block the ball’. I used to miss every sports day in secondary school(high school) because i felt so self conscious since everyone had to watch me either run or jump. Family was very hard as well, i guess i was surrounded by all of my beautiful siblings and parents. My mum looks as though she hasn’t aged a day since I was born, my sisters all have amazing features and my brother was your standard ‘man’ heavy build and muscular. So i guess i always felt like the ugly duckling, the one that didn’t get the ‘good-looking gene’- no one really paid attention to me.  Although, I just brushed off the comments that were made because I was always told that the opinions of other don’t matter it still hurt me so i would go home and just eat… i ate because it made me happy.. i ate because it made me think about something else rather than myself..i ate because i though that no-one cared about me.

I would say the tipping point for me was when i was at a store and I of course decided to use the lift rather than the stairs, because of the fact that there were so many people the lift didn’t move because there was too much weight pushing down. So everyone waited for someone to get out (mind they were all pretty healthy looking) embarrassed, i came out of the lift and what do you know… the lift worked. I was heartbroken, crying when i went home and just looked at myself in the mirror. Something that I didn’t do in over 8 months. That’s when i told myself that i am going to change.

Prior to this when i was 12-13 years old i would buy dieting supplements from the store and just take them one pill at a time every single day to the point where i was having 3 a day. This lasted for about a week before i stopped because it was doing more harm than good and also because i didn’t notice anything. I also tried slimming drinks and just drank them for breakfast, lunch and dinner hiding the slimming drink powder under my bed to the point where i nearly passed out due to the lack of nutrients. And, finally which I think was the most drastic thing that i have ever done and still regret to this day was i didn’t eat.. I starved my-self and if i did then i would just vomit it back out in the toilet. I did this for a few days before i just binged with food because i hated what i was doing to myself. – I’VE TOLD NO ONE THIS INFORMATION NOT EVEN MY FAMILY.

Moving on to the point i made about changing myself…yet again. i met someone who i fell completely in love with although they didn’t know at the time but i felt as though they felt the same. They made me feel so special and looked past my weight but looked at me in a way where no one else did.. they saw the real me. my interior rather than exterior. Much like me the person went through there own weight-loss journey so i looked up to them a lot. Not only did i want to lose the weight for me but also because i didn’t want to disappoint the person, they helped me through the process so i lost weight correctly and for the long term..and also because of the fact that i wanted to feel confident enough to tell them how I really felt.

So I ate right, i worked out and the pounds were dropping and i started to feel more confident. I was losing weight in healthy intervals- around 1-2lb a week. Until around April of this year where i finally had the courage and confidence to tell my friend how i felt… lets just say that it got complicated.. once again i spiraled out of control..but i didn’t binge. Instead i looked at myself in the mirror and just started crying… i felt like nothing changed.. i still saw myself as the ‘fat kid’ although people told me ‘Ishan you need to stop losing weight’ ‘Your losing too much weight’  ‘you really need to stop now’. I just didn’t see it. I still saw myself as fat and I saw myself like this up until September of this year where me and my friend started talking again and I told him all about the problems i was having.

And now, as i am writing this i am in a happy state mind. I have amazing friends and family that are encouraging me to make the most out of my life. Hopefully heading to University and being independent. I just wanted to say that i didn’t write this post because i want sympathy or petty. I am writing this mainly because weight-loss can be a huge struggle for some people before and after they start. What i want.. my readers.. my friends to take away from this is that the true transformation happens from the inside. And i am writing this as i have tears because blogging has helped me escape, its helped me interact with people and feel confident and make my way through this twisty, and rough road we call life.

 

HERE ARE SOME CRINGEY BEFORE AND AFTER SHOTS FROM 2015-2016

 

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19 Comments Add yours

  1. soniaingalgi says:

    Hey Ishan,

    Interesting to see a 17 year old kid take a diverse interest and blogging DIY scrubs very unusual. Keep up the good work. Blog is quiet good for whatever it has for now. Good Luck and thanks for the follow 🙂

    Like

  2. petra08 says:

    You have done so much! Some ideas seems to get stuck in your mind as much as anything and you look amazing and you have a great blog! I can’t wait to see more posts in 2017! Happy New Year! 🙂

    Like

  3. dtills says:

    I am sorry that you had to go through all this. Growing up is hard enough without the pressure to conform, whether it is internal or from your peers. You look fantastic now, and you will forever be able to draw on this tough period of time to move forward with strength and pride! Thank you for stopping by my blog and taking a look, and Have a very, Happy New Year!

    Like

  4. andreassluys says:

    Amazing article! You should be proud of yourself for your accomplishments and your courage to share this with the world.
    Accept and love yourself. I’m happy for you.
    And hot damn you look gorgeous!

    Like

  5. Congrats on taking care of you. I went through the same thing i lost 100 lbs in a year and it was all diet and exercise.but i still feel like the fat, ugly girl. I have to always remember god and mt family loved me when i was fat and love me still. And to be happy with me because i’m the only me the world has. And you are the only you we have.

    Liked by 2 people

  6. Roxie says:

    Good for you! Getting in touch with your own emotional health is complicated and hurts – I know how hard it is – but remember this: you are the CEO of your life. You may hear opinions, suggestions and stuff from others, but you choose what’s best for you. Don’t let anyone, including me, lol, steer you from that. Enjoy your uni journey, every moment of it! Namaste, Roxie

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thanks so much Roxie!

      Liked by 1 person

  7. Brenda D says:

    I think your title doesn’t reflect your post. All I saw in your post was a strong person who overcame difficulties and pulled through, so you should be proud! We can all lose our way sometimes, but the important thing is to get back on our feet 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

    1. You’re comment really meant a lot to me! Thank you

      Liked by 1 person

  8. Beeray says:

    It’s not easy but you are doing something about it. That’s what matters

    Liked by 1 person

  9. callmetrav says:

    I’m so happy that you accomplished what you wanted. You look great.

    Liked by 1 person

  10. Randall says:

    Congratulations! Not for the weight loss, but for having the courage and resilience to accept the challenge, make the right choices, stick to them and finally, share such personal experience online. I’ve had a similar experience and know that it’s not easy; you’ve made it a long way! Your post is an inspiration to many, including me 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you so much for this comment! It really means a lot to me 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

  11. Rajohn_Ali says:

    Good job bro keep up the hard work

    Liked by 1 person

  12. Congratulations, you have done yourself proud. In none of those pictures did I see someone to be ashamed of.

    Liked by 1 person

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